...Need Money for Kung-fu Lessons

I saw him out of the corner of my eye as I was parking. Set up strategically alongside the flow of the driveway traffic but tucked out of the way in a hedgerow. He had himself covered by a worn rain fly of an old coat, and blankets were wrapped around his legs and over his shoulders. It was cool that morning, but already beginning to warm quickly, being late July. He had a written sign that was facing the other direction, so I couldn't read it, but I didn't need to. The defeat and disillusionment were palpable, cloying the air like heavy blanket.

As a society, we tend to bury down our feelings when we witness homelessness. We look away, and act as if we only saw an apparition or a fleeting glimpse. It is this weird dichotomy of wanting to feel empathetic but also being judgmental; of concern, then disdain for the potential of being defrauded. We construct in our minds, the reasoning behind our decision to ignore such people, and justify our actions behind that reasoning. In our society, we emphasize the disdain we have for homelessness with the specters of drug addiction, alcoholism, employment, and several other similar issues that could portray weak character or insufficiencies.

The reality is, we are all one or two events away from experiencing homelessness. A mental illness becoming prevalent, a theft of our resources, a job loss, medical bills that we are unable to pay, a natural disaster, identity theft that we are unable to overcome. Life is hard, and in our capitalist society, economic pressure to achieve financial success acts to force us into a survival mode mentality as we accrue possessions and often go into debt to do so.

Going back to the experience that prompts this essay, I have the ability to determine if an individual is truly in trouble, or unashamedly acting the part, in order to grift from the public, using our own empathy as a tool to relieve us of our cash or resources. My failsafe is to never offer cash. If I am wrong about my assessment, I am not enabling an alcoholic or addict, nor am I lining the pockets of a professional beggar. If I am right, I am hopefully providing enough sustenance to subside the hunger pangs for a while. This particular day, I was grabbing some breakfast from a fast-food restaurant close to my office. The area is unfortunately prone to high levels of transients, as it is located off of a major national highway. I was popping into a McDonalds for a rare breakfast when I saw him. I doubled my order, and split it up between bags, so I could do a clean hand-off, and walked it over to him. As I approached, I could read his worn and faded sign and also take note of his condition. He was as you would expect of someone living in the margins: unkempt, dirty, exhausted, and surprised to be approached by someone on foot. I didn't ask what he needed or if I could offer him food, I knew he would need it regardless. My interaction was short and pointed, "good morning, I have some food for you... you're welcome, here's some OJ to go with that..., here, take a straw. Save the cup to drink water from today, it's going to get hot. Take care of yourself today, ok?" I could see in his eyes he was grateful, both for the food, and to be treated with dignity and without judgement. To be served by another without expectation of reciprocity, and to be regarded as capable of looking after themselves for the day. His skin was flushed and inflamed, but the most striking thing about him to me was how young he was.

I don't write this for self-aggrandizement. I write this to show how simple it is to make a slight difference in someone else's life, even if just for the amount of time it takes to eat a meal. I do this type of thing when I can, even when travelling for business. There is a bit of sadness that attaches after I do this too, proving to myself that my intentions are from the right place: I worry about when that person will have the next similar experience. In my heart, I know it's not enough, but I am trying to offer hope.

His sign written in full said "Family murdered by Ninjas. Need Money for Kung-fu Lessons." Well, you need nourishment to fight the demons, too. Take care of yourself today.